There goes again, the feeling she hates the most. It exists
again. She hates it, she does.
It’s been quiet a while since the last time she felt that
kinda feeling. And she has sworn to herself to not let that feeling invades her
no matter what, ever. She ever had the conviction once she recovered and made
it to stand up safe and sound that she’s mature, that a mature lady won’t ever
affected by that little scumbag feeling again.
Because that feeling is useless.
Because it’s a gross.
Because it makes her feel like in hell.
Because it makes her feel worse than trapped in never ending
argument wit Dad.
Because it’s worse than being left behind by people.
What makes it worst is that frustratingly obnoxious feeling
is not miserable enough to whine over but the fact she keeps being lost by
that.
And she has no power to even defend herself to chase it
away.
She just runs her day normally. But there is a space
somewhere in her heart that sometimes aches her once in a while. When it
relapses, she cries. When it’s cool off, she’s calm, but you know there is just
something missing that she even can’t concentrate to anything she does. That she
gets to the activity, she’s nice to everyone but can’t help the fact that that
space in her heart creates hollow and it keeps lingering on her everyday every
single minute since she realized that she cares so much about him.
It. Just. Sucks.
Last time she felt it when she lost the person she loved so
much, when the friendship she had been building broke in a jiffy. When she and
him became strangers afterwards.
But it is pretty different.
She even hasn’t started over with.
But he already has the power to make her feel like that.
The power to put her down and cheer her up in a very simple
way possible at the same time.
Is she the only one that feels that kinda feeling?
