That Feeling.

There goes again, the feeling she hates the most. It exists again. She hates it, she does.

It’s been quiet a while since the last time she felt that kinda feeling. And she has sworn to herself to not let that feeling invades her no matter what, ever. She ever had the conviction once she recovered and made it to stand up safe and sound that she’s mature, that a mature lady won’t ever affected by that little scumbag feeling again.

Because that feeling is useless.

Because it’s a gross.

Because it makes her feel like in hell.

Because it makes her feel worse than trapped in never ending argument wit Dad.

Because it’s worse than being left behind by people.

What makes it worst is that frustratingly obnoxious feeling is not miserable enough to whine over but the fact she keeps being lost by that.

And she has no power to even defend herself to chase it away.

She just runs her day normally. But there is a space somewhere in her heart that sometimes aches her once in a while. When it relapses, she cries. When it’s cool off, she’s calm, but you know there is just something missing that she even can’t concentrate to anything she does. That she gets to the activity, she’s nice to everyone but can’t help the fact that that space in her heart creates hollow and it keeps lingering on her everyday every single minute since she realized that she cares so much about him.

It. Just. Sucks.

Last time she felt it when she lost the person she loved so much, when the friendship she had been building broke in a jiffy. When she and him became strangers afterwards.

But it is pretty different.

She even hasn’t started over with.

But he already has the power to make her feel like that.

The power to put her down and cheer her up in a very simple way possible at the same time.

Is she the only one that feels that kinda feeling?