Witnessing how good my
relationships that have been built with male friends intrigues me to apply that
way to the guys I have crush on in the future. In hope, I’m gonna have a good
relationship too with one of them. Both of us will love each other right and
have happy days. The thing is, I haven’t been able to love anyone else better
than I love you.
Witnessing how good my
relationships that have been built with male friends makes me daydream
impossible daydream of having a time machine. I’m going to turn back to the
time when we first met, when your gaze magically sent butterflies to my
tummy. I would get the chance to make
things right, to treat you the way I did to those my best male friends, so we
could be friends and you could see my sincerity then we would love each other right and have happy days.
We are forbidden to regret
anything that happens in our life. But at some points, sometime I do have these
regrets.
I have always had this obsession
to meet you accidentally and I’m at my best so you could see how much I
improve, how thousands better I am than the last time we saw each other. In
hope, I attract you, we will love each other right and have happy days.
Nonetheless, up until now I’m still unsure if I’m already good enough to be
with you.
Sometimes, I feel bad toward
myself. It happens when I think about you a bit more intensely than necessary.
If that condition invades me, I’ve always had this ridiculous and wishful
imagination, in attempt to make myself feel better.
We meet again we are grown up, in
million better versions of ourselves. I’m involved in an excitement
conversation with our other friends. You will watch over me and curve your lips
unconsciously in secrecy. Then, you and I and other friends decide to go to
karaoke bar. I have my turn, and I sing all the songs about us from the bottom
of my heart, we surely can relate to the songs I sing, those songs will
perfectly describe what you are to me and what I want to be to you, you get awed and understand. We will love
each other right and have happy days.
But again, I’m already a grown up
lady and you’re a grown up guy now. When will I get that kind of wishful and
ridiculous chance in real life?
We are forbidden to regret
anything that happens in our life. But at some points, sometime I do have these
regrets.
May I ask you something?
What am I to you?
I hope I am better than
insignificant existence to you. I do hope I’m better than merely that.
Do you know or more suitable
question is do you ever want to know that I have this hobby, I like to make
anything normal about you and me to be a coincidence, a sweet condition to be
more exact. Do you want example?
For example, my date of birth and
your month of birth share the same number in particular, 7.
Or your sister happened to be in
the same school as me 12 years ago.
And other coincidences I made
myself.
What am I to you again? I really
want to know.
What am I to you? I don’t really
want to know cz it might just hurt me, or like this, I know it will hurt me I
put my guard up and encourage myself not to be hurt cz it’s not my first
experience, however I can’t help but hurt.
What are you to me?
Just by reading this. You know
how much you mean to me.
Dear you.
Hi!
Happy belated birthday.
